Lost and alone [End]

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Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

Inspiration:

In a room that is private to her. Sitting in her chair. Books, scrolls and various documents liter the desk. Laying on top of the sea of scientific words and numbers. A lone sheet of paper, written on it are words. Words that the intended reader had never hoped to hear much less see.

What did I do wrong..? Where did I go wrong in this..? How could I have allowed this to happen..? Why..?

Drops of water, cascades down her face. Her eyes swollen and shaded with a deep scarlet red. Eyes that that gleamed with light of intelligence and joy. Now become empty voids of rage at herself for not seeing the signs and preventing what fate has given her. Regret for what her actions have done.

I need to talk to her.. But what can I say? I'm sorry? Shakes her head slowly. I've said that too many times for it to matter. I guess this is what I get for being so blind to those around me..

Finally forcing her body to move. She rises from her seat. Taking those few first steps. Only to feel the weight of the world, her world crash down upon her. Falling onto the floor. Her spirit, broken and her heart is filled with a pain she wish it would just kill her where she lay.

Closing her eyes. Ana takes a deep breath but the darkness with it's cold grip around her throat. Strangles the life from her. Coughing and crying heavily, paralyzed by the dark.

Her last remains of comfort. The soft hum of the insects she has known since her birth. Hearing their song. Ana falls asleep in hopes that once she opens her eyes. That this pain, this torment will only be a nightmare for she can forget.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

As the night began to cover the forest, Etsuko would sit in the tree tops, her eyes focused on the gate to Konoha as the deep grey would glisten in the moonlight. Her eyes locked on the gate, as she contemplates what her next move is to be. The thoughts that cross through her head are those that would benefit herself, and the one she loves, but the pain that she has been feeling lately can not bring her to do it. As she would breath out calmly, her eyes would slowly close over as she tilts her head down to the ground calmly. The thoughts of her smile, the giggles, then fun, and the love. Then the thought's that she remembered, and only her. How... Why... When... These are the three words that continue to echo through her mind and not even she could give the answers to these questions. The only thing she knew, is the love she felt for Ana would never be changed, no matter what happened.

Her eyes would slowly open, as the moonlight glistened off them, but the look that covered Etsuko's face would be one not even she knew she had. The tear resting calmly in the corner of her eye would slowly fall. It would slowly trail down her cheek, as Etsuko allowed her eyes to close once more, and that is when the tears continued. The weeping would soon follow, and the strong girl that had been so independent and showed no emotion, had finally broken. Her eyes opening once more, as it trails through the village as she would stop on the Aburame compound.

I have to go see her... But, what to I say... I've already said to much and for all I know, she probably hates me and doesn't want to talk to me... I love her so much, but I was told it takes two for a relationship to work... Maybe, I was just so focused on myself that I didn't even think about how she feels... I need to go talk to her... I have to go talk to her... I will.... Now.

She places her hands onto the branch, as she pushes off and calmly falls to the ground as she lands calmly. Bringing her right hand up, she would wipe the tears that have gathered in here eyes as she lifts her right foot and begins to walk slowly towards Konoha. Etsuko determined to make the problem that she has caused right...

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

Inspiration:

Enclosed in her own private space. Time frozen still, haunted by memories of a life that was taken for granted. No longer caring about anything. Even her appearance has become affected by the darkness. Her hair, once pure innocent white has dulled to filthy shade of gray. Her clothing, unchanged and dirty from the lack of attention.

What time is it...? What day is it...? Oh who cares... Not like I have anything really important to do anymore.. Not like I have anyone anymore...

Sitting in her bed. Staring at the same kunai for a while. Contemplating on if anyone will miss her when she's gone. Picking the weapon up. Placing the sharp edge to her throat. Slowly bringing the device of death closer. It begins to pierce the her skin. A single trickle of stream of crimson flows from her but suddenly. As if her own fears were holding her hand at bay.

I can't do it... I can never do it when it really matters.. I can't take a life.. Not even my own..

Her grasp on the hilt weakens. The weapon falls out of her hold and lands in front of her. These motions, this dance. Ana has repeated them for a while. The result, unchanged and unending.

Beyond the door to the outside. Other members of the clan begin to take note the sudden change. First came the knocks on the door but only silence is replied. Some have attempted to enter but fear to do so out of possibility of the door being laced with explosive tags. Even her mother, Tita had taken note of her daughter's behavior.

Has she not left her room? Tita looking at one of the other clansman as she passes through the doorway. No Ma'am. It has been days now that Ana has since locked herself in and refuses to come out. The clansman replied with worry in his tone. If she insist on causing this much trouble. Inform her that she has until tomorrow to exit that room on her own or be forced out and will face punishment for behaving in such a childish manner. Am I clear? Tita looks at the male. Her gaze always dominating over all she views. Yes, Ma'am. The clansman leaves and starts making the necessary preparations.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

The night was still around, as Etsuko move through the clearing as she approaches Konoha. Stepping through the gate, she walks over to the gate guards and signs herself in. The dim lighting of the lampposts the only thing providing light, as she lifts her head and takes a deep breath. Lifting her feet, she begins to walk along the pathway, her hands folded over her chest. Her heart beating at an accelerated pace as she passes the hospital. Her mind trailing through thoughts, causing her heart to beat faster as the worry begins to grow. Etsuko, having fought S Rank missing ninja, been hunted and face death on multiple occasions, was scared. The letter she sent, ringing through her mind, as the thought of loosing the one she loves had finally begun to sink in. Instant regret filling her mind, as the walk turns into a jog, fast turning into a run as she darts through the streets of Konoha.

I can't do this! I can't live without her... Please forgive me... Pleas don't let it be to late... I don't care what I have to do, I don't care what has happened, I need you Ana... I love you... Please, Please, Please forgive me... Please...

The thoughts trailing her mind continue, as the corners of her eyes would begin to welt up. The tears beginning to form, as she brings her right hand up to wipe the tears away, her eyes becoming blurry as she continues to run. Finally showing the side, she had hoped to never show, but the only perosn that can make her complete, is no where to be seen. As she comes closer to the compiound, her pace would not slow. The building becoming closer and closer, as she would just scream.

"ANA.... ANA IT'S ME.... I'M SORRY!"

Her hand would stretch out, contacting with the door. A solid thud echoing through the compound into the silence within. Another following, then a third. Three knocks echoing as the tears would still be in her eyes. Her hand resting on the door in a tight fist.

"Ana... Please..."

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

The door slowly opens. Two small girls, obviously of genin rank as their village bands are displayed around their heads. They lift their gaze up at the visitor. Hello, is there something you need? The children examine Etsuko curiously as to the woman's reason for arriving so late in the hour.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

Etsuko's eyes would come onto the two girls, the tears still in her eyes as she would stop a moment. Her throat dries up, as all of a sudden, she would choke. Not verbally, not physically, but emotionally. The rush of emotions, that she has lost with her transformation, had come back to her in one large cluster as she just stares. The shaking of her iris would indicate the sadness that she feels, the tone of her voice and the thumping on the door, just moments earlier, the desperation, and the fuck she had travelled this far, late at night, just to see Ana, the love. She would finally clear her throat, as she stiffles the words, just barely, mostly in a whisper but loud enough for the two to hear.

"An-... Ana... I wa-... No, I need to see Ana..."

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

The twins would turn to each other for a moment. The expression in their faces, grim as they look back to the woman. We're sorry but she's in trouble with Mama and is in the hospital now. Big Sis had locked herself in her room and was found trying to kill herself... The girls say in perfect unison. Both lowering their heads in a solemn bow of regret to the woman. We have to go now. Take care.. The twins would close the door shut to return to their nightly routines before retiring for the night.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

The shattering reality of what has happened would hit Etsuko. The lack of breathing apparent once more as she stumbles backwards a few steps, catching her foot on the stair, as she would fall to the ground. Her arms out stretching to catch herself, as she sits on the ground for a moment, motionless. Her eyes welting up once more, as her mind enters a huge thought process once more. Her, causing Ana to kill herself? No... This can't be happening. Building up the courage, she places her hands onto the ground and with a mighty push, get's to her feet. The soles of her shoes digging into the ground, as she forces herself into a full scale run

"I'm coming Ana! Please... Don't let it to be late! I can't live without you... I can't..."

The tears continue to fall as the speed at which Etsuko is travelling would be a lot faster then she has ever ran before, the adrenaline pulsing through her body, as her heart beats faster and faster. Turning corner by corner, running through small alleyways, the tears streaming down her cheeks and fall from them, to land onto the cold pavement. Her mind passing through the worst case scenario over and over.

How could I do this to her... I knew this would hurt her, but I was only thinking about myself... I should have thought about her... I love you... I need her... She is my rock, she is my soul... I am nothing without her, so why did I do this... I have to make it right... I have to! I will!

The hospital would come into vision now, her eyes locking onto the door as she gets closer and closer. Two shinobi from outside would watch her approach, as they would see the urgency in her movements, and slowly open the door for her. Etsuko, without hesitating, would run straight into the hospital and upto the front desk. Her right hand forming a fist as she slam's it down onto the counter.

"I need to see Ana! Please tell me she's alright!"

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

The receptionist jumps from Etsuko's sudden entry. Her eyes narrow at Etsuko. I will ask that you calm down and lower your tone. Taking a moment to examine the current log list. Ana... Ana... Ah. Here. Ana Aburame. She's in the recovery room 2-A but she is under security watch for suicide attempt and will not be permitted visitation until she has gone through a full medical and psych evaluation. Pulling in a small breath to look from the file and stare at Etsuko. Will there be anything else?

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

"I.... Ho-.... What have I done... I need to see her... Please... I am the reason she is like this.... Please... Please... Let me see her... Before it get's any worse... She has to know I love her... She has to know I care... I didn't mean for it to happen like this... I need her... I want her back... Let me see her... Let me... I just... She has to know..."

Her head would fall onto the receptionist desk, the tears continuing to flow, as her world would begin to crash around her. Her arms folding over her head, as she would grip at her hair, holding it tightly. Not moving, her body shaking as she hopes the receptionist will allow her to see Ana.

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

Slowly shaking her head from side to side. Declining the request. I'm sorry but I can not. Until the state of her health is determined. Visitation is prohibited. The doctor will be with her shortly. Placing her foot near the security alarm in preparation of a possible attack but remains show her calm demeanor to Etsuko.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

She grips her hair, as she turns and runs off, heading towards the bathroom. Bursting through the door, she goes into the nearest stool, closing and locking the door behind her. Her back pushes hard against once of the walls, as she would slowly slide down it. Her hands coming up to cover her face, as she allows the emotion becomes to much for her to handle. Her mind clouds, as she sits against the wall, crying to herself. She sits here for a few moments, before an idea enters her mind. Closing her eyes, the tears still welting the sides she would focus her chakra. Pushing it outwards calmly as she attempts to locate where Ana is and if she can get to her.

Please... Please let this work... I have to see her...

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

Laying in bed. Wrapped in restrictive bindings. Seeming heavily medicated. Her eyes, glazed over in a trance as two forms stands above her bed. The larger form wearing mostly white. His eyes seem to lack pupils, long dark raven hair that was pulled back into a one tail. The hyuuga doctor reviews the notes of Ana's examination. Standing by the doorway. Another person, a female with shoulder length blonde hair. Quietly observing the doctor and patient interaction or lack reaction from the drugged patient. She occasionally looks back to the doorway to her partner who is on the other end of the door. Another female with a small canine keeping watch of anything suspicious from the hallway.

The doctor shakes his head slowly after reading the report. What ever cause this girl to be placed in such a state must have been very traumatic. He turns to the female guard. I will return shortly. Sadly she will have to be relieved of duty and placed in a detention cell until her condition improves. When that will be largely depends on her... The guard simply nods her head a little. Her gaze turns to Ana with a small hint of pity. She too wonders what could have done this to someone as well.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

Her eyes open again, as the realisation of what has happened becomes apparent. She would take a calm breath, gaining her composure as she brings he right hand up and wipes the tears away with the back of her right hand. Placing her hands on the ground to support herself, the shaking from the pain being apparent. Taking a deep breath, she pushes as hard as she can, coming to a crouch. She would lift her right hand and place it on the wall as she slowly pushes herself up, her legs shaking, as the emotion still floods her body. As she stands straight up, she rests her head against the stool wall as she breaths outwards. Her body glows, as the chakra breaks apart and moves outwards, becoming invisible.

The chakra would move calmly through the hospital, through the hallway's and into the same sector of the hospital as Ana. As she weaves through the hallways, she would find the nearest cupboard, and sink underneath the door. Her chakra gathering together, as she reforms her own body on the inside of the cupboard, as the reality sinks in. She shakes her head, not worrying about the consequences of what she is doing, as she reaches out to grab the door handle. Her hand would be shaken intensely, as she grips down on the metal sphere, and turns. The door would creep open slowly, as Etsuko steps out of the closet and into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Her feet begin to move on their own, walking towards the room where she knows Ana is, before she stops to look at the guard. Her eyes still filled with the tears, as she her face is covered in complete sadness, and utter despair.

"I... I did this to her... You hav-... You have to let me see her... Please... I have to try and make this right... I didn't mean for it to end up like this... I just want her to know that I care... She needs to know i'm still here for her... She needs to know I love her... Please... Please let me see her..."

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

The guard stares at the woman for a moment. Her nose, subtly picking Etsuko's scent. That can't happen without the doctor in charge's consent and he's away at the moment. So if you want to wait in the next room. I will inform him when he returns and see what he says, kay?

Then in mere seconds of finishing her thought. The examiner returns. His eyes would look at the guard then shift to Etsuko. Is there something you need, Miss? The guard would take her sights off of Etsuko and on to the examiner. She claims to be the cause of the Aburame's current condition and wishes to see her..

Taking in the request into consideration. If she feels that she can help the girl then we shall see. The hyuuga would open the door and motions for Etsuko to enter in first.

Admin Posts : 943 Join date : 2015-02-14

She looks to the doctor, and as the door opens, she would be in without a seconds hesitation. Her eyes scaling over Ana as she moves to her side almost instantly. Her hands stretching outwards to gently grab Ana's hand. Her own skin quite cold to the touch, as the iris begin to shake again. The anger filling her body of how she could have done this to Ana, followed by the pain of seeing her beloved in this way. The tears, slowly, begin to fill her eyes once more, as she just looks at Ana's face. Her left hand, breaking from holding Ana's, but still leaving her right hand there, would trail up to gently stroke Ana's face. Her thumb trailing along the corner of Ana's lips and over her dimples, as the open palmed hand would rest on her face.

"I'm so sorry baby... I didn't... I shouldn't... I don't know what to say... I love you, Ana... I really do... I didn't mean for this to happen... I was stupid, I should have never sent that letter... I need you Ana... I need you in my life... You are my one and only... You are the one that makes my heart beat... Please... Forgive me... I don't know what I would do with out you... I love you so much... To much, that it hurts me... I want you to be with me all the time... Please come back to me..."

Posts : 63 Join date : 2015-02-14 Age : 43

Inspiration:

The doctor walks into the room after Etsuko. Closing it behind him but remains near to give the patient and visitor some space and time. Both him and the guard watch quietly as Etsuko bleeds her heart and soul to Ana. Seeking salvation for the sin she has done.

Reacting on pure instinct. Ana's face turns towards Etsuko's touch as if feeding a strong desire that was denied for so long. Time almost feel to freeze in place for the two. Until finally her eyes fully open, examining her surrounding. The effects of her medication begins to wane. Her mind, now clear and focused begins to register where she is as Ana spots Etsuko near.

What... When... Ana's thoughts begin to swirl and spiral as with her emotions as she looks at Etsuko, in tears. I'm sorry that I couldn't do more for you.. For us.. I never meant to cause such a rift between us.. I'm sorry for the pain I done to you.. Ana's eyes begins to release the flood gates of emotions as tears stream down her face. Telling Etsuko everything that was locked up in her heart. All I thought was how could i make it up to you.. How could I make things right between us.. But my regret and shame clouded my eyes... Pausing for a moment for Ana almost forgot how to breath. I kept hearing your voice in my mind and heart. I love so much..

The doctor then nods his head. Turning his attention from the two by the bed to the guard. I will file the release papers so these two can move on. But returns his gaze to Ana and Etsuko. I will also ask that the both of you start taking counseling sessions. You're young and have a lot ahead of you. Miss Aburame, you will be placed under suspension until you've completed the sessions. Spins on his heels and leaves the room to begin the paperwork for Ana's release.